El manejo de las pataletas: estrategias, evidencias y malas prácticas

Por Felipe Lecannelier Acevedo
Psicólogo Clínico
Director del Centro de Estudios Evolutivos e Intervención en el Niño (CEEIN), Universidad del Desarrollo


Las pataletas (y la forma de manejarlas) suelen ser una de las principales quejas que los padres reportan respecto de la conducta de sus hijos/as, especialmente durante los primeros seis años de vida. En general, una pataleta es entendida como una reacción descontrolada y no planificada de rabia y frustración que se expresa a través de una serie de conductas que pueden ir desde llorar, gritar, tirarse al suelo, hasta pegar, morder, y golpear/se. Evidentemente, mientras más descontrolada y extrema es la reacción del niño/a, más indicadora es de algún tipo de dificultad temperamental, emocional, familiar, genética, y/o contextual.

Todos los seres humanos (niños y adultos) suelen hacer pataletas, lo que varía es la intensidad, duración y tipo de conducta que se realiza para expresar la rabia y frustración. Estudios específicos sobre la duración e intensidad de la pataleta han mostrado que ésta conducta tiene su pick de intensidad entre los 1 y 4 años, en donde alrededor del 80% de los niños suelen acudir a este tipo de reacciones en momentos de stress, rabia y frustración. A pesar de que muchas veces se atribuye a la pataleta una intención de manipulación por parte del niño/a, esta reacción suele expresar una necesidad no cumplida (sea una necesidad física, emocional, social, etc.). Es decir, los niños hacen pataletas como una forma de expresar su rabia y stress producto de no haber obtenido lo que desean conseguir y no necesariamente como intentos de manipulación hacia los padres.

¿Cómo se manejan las pataletas?

Históricamente, el consejo práctico que los profesionales han dado se relaciona a ignorar la pataleta, no hacer caso a las peticiones del niño/a, y/o dejarlo en un lugar alejado hasta que se calme (por ejemplo, cuando se envía al niño a su habitación). Es decir, lo que se conoce como la técnica del Time-Out (Tiempo-Fuera). Sin embargo, últimos estudios provenientes de las investigaciones sobre la calidad del apego entre padres e hijos y del desarrollo de habilidades socio-emocionales en los infantes (lo que se conoce como Aprendizaje Socio-emocional) han demostrado que este tipo de técnicas provoca una serie de efectos negativos a corto y largo plazo, tanto en los niños, como en la relación con los padres. En primer lugar, se ha demostrado que cuando se les hace Tiempo-Fuera (no solo en el contexto de la crianza, sino también en la educación preescolar y escolar) ellos reportan sentirse con más rabia, más frustración e ignorados por sus padres (o profesores). Algunos mencionan sentirse tristes y rechazados y no confiar en la disponibilidad y ayuda del adulto cuando se sienten mal.

En segundo lugar, los niños/as que son sometidos a esta técnica como práctica disciplinaria cotidiana para manejar eventos estresantes, evidencian a largo plazo mayores índices de agresividad, mala conducta, desorden, y oposicionismo, ya no solo con sus padres sino con otros adultos. Es decir, que en este sentido, el Tiempo-Fuera puede parecer que tiene efectos positivos a corto plazo (ya que el niño parece calmarse) pero a largo plazo genera un clima conflictivo y hostil entre el niño y sus padres. Por último, los estudios sobre prácticas positivas de crianza han mostrado que la técnica del Tiempo-Fuera NO enseña nada positivo al niño/a sobre su propia conducta y reacciones y la de los otros (es decir, no enseña nada sobre valores e inteligencia emocional). Más bien lo que hace es imponer una disciplina sobre la base de enseñar un poder autoritario que se debe acatar, pero sin que el niño pueda comprender el qué, cómo y porqué de su conducta descontrolada. Más aún, esta técnica suele dar una información emocional contradictoria al niño, donde se le impone que trate de calmarse por sí mismo y en soledad, cuando la pataleta es justamente una expresión de que él no tiene la habilidad para hacer eso.

¿Cuál sería entonces un manejo apropiado de las pataletas?

Más que Tiempo-Fuera, el mejor manejo sería un Tiempo-Adentro (Time-In). El Tiempo-Adentro implica que, más que alejarse del niño y dejarlo solo, hay que quedarse con él/ella utilizando una serie de estrategias para que se calme. Esta estrategia tiene el fin último de comunicar al niño/a que los padres son seres protectores y contenedores en momentos difíciles (aspecto vital en toda estrategia sana de crianza). Más específicamente, algunas acciones concretas a realizar son:

1) Nunca descontrolarse en esos momentos (no gritarle, pegarle, decir malas palabras, o inferir malas intenciones).

2) Ponerse a la altura visual del niño/a: esto permite que él sienta menos estrés y poder autoritario de parte de los padres y pueda calmarse fácilmente.

3) Siempre trate de poner en palabras o comentar en frases breves y simples lo que está ocurriendo afectivamente en el niño (por ejemplo, “yo sé que te da rabia porque no quieres acostarte, pero tienes que dormirte porque ya es tarde”). Esto ayuda a que el niño aprenda en futuras ocasiones a comprender y verbalizar estas reacciones de descontrol.

4) Desviar la atención con algo agradable para el infante: es decir, mostrarle una alternativa que le guste (por ejemplo, ofrecer leer un cuento en vez de comer un helado a las 9 de la noche). Esto no solo calma al niño, sino que le enseña formas para calmarse en el futuro.

5) No tratar de enseñar temas de disciplina en el momento de la pataleta, ya que cuando uno se encuentra en estados afectivos negativos no comprende razones ni consecuencias (por ejemplo, “si te portas mal, no podrás salir mañana”), sino mas bien esperar a que esté más calmado y mostrarle que su conducta no es apropiada (obviamente, sin descalificarlo, culparlo, y/o ridiculizarlo).

En el fondo, el Tiempo-Adentro (a diferencia del Tiempo-Afuera) lo que hace es tratar de contener y enseñar al niño/a sobre su reacción, más que provocarle mas malestar y establecer una autoridad basada en el poder innecesario con el/ella.

De mi experiencia, existen padres que asumen muy bien el Tiempo-Adentro ya que se dan cuenta que las otras estrategias suelen ser muy estresantes para los niños/as. Pero también existen padres que consideran que este tipo de crianza les quita poder y autoridad (como que la crianza con los hijos se basara en una relación asimétrica de acatamiento del poder), y otros padres consideran que ese tipo de estrategias no son muy ideales ya que toman demasiado tiempo y paciencia (pero los niños no tienen la culpa que sus padres no tengan tiempo).

En conclusión, cualquier estrategia de crianza que provoque más estrés y malestar en el niño/a es una estrategia que va a tener efectos negativos a largo plazo. En el caso de las pataletas, un consejo que se puede dar a los padres, madres y adultos, es que piensen durante un momento cómo se sentirían si tratarán de expresarle a alguien que se sienten enojados, frustrados, tristes y esa otra persona NO los tomara en cuenta y los obligara a aguantar solos esa reacción emocional.

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Thanks for the superb matters on poker you talk about right here and likewise for this piece of good information. We are actually not conscious of any Indian being prosecuted or charged for the offence of utilizing a gambling site. Given the stage the player in addition to his favourite sport is at at present, Clawin thinks it's only pure that he become an architect of the trajectory the game will take, in India. It will seem that the unregulated poker industry in India is on tilt proper now, making dangerous selections like exceptionally excessive-raked games, players with mounds of debt who proceed to borrow, extortionist money collectors, and medicines, lots of medication. The problems pertaining to income tax liability of internet sites like Google, Fb, Twitter , and so on would additionally arise in India in close to future. Joss Wooden - A former editor of Poker Industry Professional, Joss Wooden is a graduate in English from the College of Birmingham. One sequence currently working is the India Poker Championship , with the latest event being held in Goa. Our Flash sport builders have produced numerous custom web games and highly effective on-line poker software program. The Indian poker scene is still very young, but annually the game turns into an increasing number of common as gamers around the country are uncovered to it. For many years it was difficult for players to enjoy the sport, since Indian casinos weren't allowed to offer table games. The courts have held that Poker cannot be accepted as a recreation of skill; nevertheless it was mentioned that it will be legal to play poker all through the states which do not maintain it as unlawful. Nonetheless, till a court docket or government steps in to prohibit or regulate on-line games of skill, poker websites will proceed to offer real-money games to Indians and market their products, each on-line and offline. It is changing into increasingly common to listen to of online gamers cashing out wherever between Rs 50,000 to over Rs 1 lakh during tournaments," said Agarwal, who was roped in during January 2015 as the primary Indian player for the world's largest online poker website, PokerStars. I see wealthy business folks undergo 1 or 2 Lakh of Rupee in a short time and never care so there is loads of easy money. The online poker site officially launched less than a year ago and not too long ago joined forces with the favored India Poker Championship (IPC). As we have seen, they've already formed a partnership with Adda52, and it would not be a surprise to see India areas on the tour in future. More than 500 gamers can play 5 Card Poker, Texas Maintain'em Poker, Mini flush, Flush, Baccarat, Casino Battle and lot many games onboard. To me the poker site has to have good expertise and numerous channels to play on: downloadable, browser-based mostly and cellular as properly. It has attracted the youths from India and foreigner tourists a lot in recent time. Apply your poker experience with free poker and then play with actual cash to win cash. Gambling is a state topic and solely states in India are entitled to formulate legal guidelines for gambling activities inside their respective states. In keeping with the federal government of India's trademark of registry, Agarwal and Quadrific Media have utilized to trademark Spartan Poker under the leisure and gaming category, however neither application has been approved. Additionally the second event i.e. the IPC 10k Friday Night time Event is the classic Freezeout which really begins off the weekend so many players were anticipated to fly in after work that evening. Courts in India have not yet obtained a chance to verify these arguments, though two terse Excessive Court docket orders have indicated that the result of poker-associated litigation could also be constructive. Jatin Banga based the On-line Poker League in partnership with GOPOKER, creating an eight-workforce league that began at virtually the identical time because the PSL. Delivers an extra-unusual gaming experience to its gamers by offering unique online promotions resembling KQ Poker Hunt (KQPH) , Dwell Problem Series (LCS) and the KQ On-line League (KQOL). New gamers can brush up on the poker rules and study poker technique from the professionals. If that is so with Rummy, then at the very least surely it needs to be the identical for poker. There is no entry price for this Indian Poker league and there's good prize cash at stake. Whereas land-based poker video games in India are restricted to on line casino ships, these online poker rooms are outdoors the jurisdiction of the government, so gamers in India are protected using them. Immediately, India boasts of among the best online poker websites in the subcontinent. It doesn't matter in case you are an skilled player or a novice, in Shahi India Poker we provide a real expertise to completely different ranges! All the card video games supplied at are utterly legal to play in India and assure 24 hour leisure. Thus even illegal betting and gambling winnings could be liable to be taxed underneath Indian legal guidelines. Competition between poker operators is fierce - it's possible you'll already have noted that there are dozens of various poker rooms to choose from from. Select from High Tequila or Tequila Poker on the buttons at the backside of your screen. We also advice you to take a look at our section on Tips on how to Play Poker for recreation-related information. ITech Labs Certification - has been licensed by iTech Labs for honest recreation play, which is a world normal in gaming software reliability. Many players are drawn in the direction of the game resulting from its invigorative nature of the sport combined with an element of probability. Belgian pro Mihail Stoykov who'd been making waves recently on the Indian poker circuit confirmed exactly why his game is regarded so highly by taking down the IPC 12k Headhunters title. Starting from the app versions of Facebook to the standalone app, Poker grew to become an online sensation. Poker is a reasonably easy sport that you only need to do a minimal to succeed - studying the abilities, cultivating the flexibility to be stoic, and being degree-headed on a regular basis. Aditya, who has been taking part in on PokerStars since 2014, hopes that he'll inspire more individuals in India to play and luxuriate in poker. Similarly, Germany could claim that for the reason that server internet hosting the web site Poker is situated inside its jurisdiction Germany has the final say.
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hola me gusto mucho el articulo, sobretodo porque me ayudo a comprender mejor porque es tan perjudicial el tiempo-fuera. personalmente me siento muy frustrada cuando veo a mi niño con pataleta, siento deseos de desaparecer, aunque siempre termino por respirar hondo y tratar de recobrar mi calma para transmitirsela a el.

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You are my inhalation , I have few web logs and very sporadically run out from to post .
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Hola


estamos muy preocupados por mi hijo de 5 años Nicolás; aparte de todos los problemas de conducta que me refieren en el colegio ( No hacer caso , no reconoce autoridad , quiere hacer lo que el quiere, falta el respeto a los compañeros y profesoras , tiro un objeto de madera a la profesora, .....etc)


Desde hace un par de semanas a empezado a acentuar algunas manias y tener otras las que lo frustran y empieza con unas pataletas que puede durar una hora o más, le molesta que las medias se arruguen, necesita que las zapatillas esten amarradas muy fuerte y que los cordones queden del mismo tamaño los que despúes oculta, asimismo los zapatos de colegio se los compre con belcro para evitar este problema y de la misma manera se frustra jalandolos y pidiendo que los apretemos más y luego al quedar largos le molesta y se los tuve que cortar; dice que los calzoncillos estan sueltos,,, le compramos unos mas pequeños y aun siente que se le caen lo cual no es cierto, necesita que los pantalones se los ajustemos fuertemente llegando a dañarse la piel , los cuellos de las poleras los siente anchos...y todo esto conlleva a una pataleta y realmente el cambiarlo ya es un problema ; en las noches necesita que lo tape muchas veces hasta que se sienta comodo por lo que a las finales termina el día llorando.

Su dormitorio debe estar siempre ordenado, la ropa si no le gusta como esta la tira pidiendo a llantos que se la ordenen, guarda todos su juguetes en caja y las cierra con scotch luego de jugar...

La verdad el tema del mal comportamiento en el jardin  ya no me importa tanto es un niño y bueno es inquieto; pero las manias que se le estan acentuando y veo que el sufre y nosotros estamos perdiendo la paciencia es lo que me tiene muy angustiada.


Te pido me comentes que opinas de esto, como lo podemos ayudar? , y si necesitamos terapia con él

 

Gracias!
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